The Porch Swing @ Shady Creek Hollow

Lukewarm Water

           

Well, I'm just getting started on my 'to do' list this morning. It looks to be a long one. At the top of the list is ironing. You see, my trusty iron died earlier this week. Just one big spark and it was gone LOL. So I had to go get another one last night.

It's amazing to me to see how many styles and types there now are for irons. As usual I chose the old heavyweight model that wasn't a whole lot different from the one I'd had. I liked its retro looking lines and the fact that it weighs a ton. My theory is that a good iron...a truly good one, must weigh a whole lot to get the job done. That's just me though....I have no scientific fact to base this supposition upon.

On a totally unrelated topic....Hutch and I were talking last night about society in general and how we fit into it. We agreed that we both think we live and have raised our family in sort of an old fashioned time warp. Hutch said last night we live a 'Little House on the Prairie', kind of life. I agree. And we like that...a lot. It's not that we're naive, or that we just don't get it. You know what I'm talking about- the false worship of celebrities, the titillating scandals, the damaging gossip, and the general nastiness out there in the world.     

In his line of work Hutch comes into contact with loads of folks who are much more comfortable in a worldly setting than a Godly one. And I was in the 'work' world myself for many many years so I'm fully cognizant of what's out there. You can't be a public school teacher and stay naive or protected. 

What I'm stuttering to get at here is this: God has protected us- we know that fact very well. He's also given us a desire for things that aren't real popular or 'cool'. We like to hang out with our kids and just talk about things that are deep. We KNOW them and they KNOW us- warts and all. The saddest thing I've ever heard was when somebody told me that all she ever had to talk about with her folks was the weather.

I guess everybody has read that quote, "Great minds talk about ideas, average minds talk about things, small minds talk about other people." When we get together with our kids we talk about loads of topics. Philosophy, Science [we're all kind of nerdy that way], Religion, Theology, Art, Music, Theater, History, & Geology come to mind. We don't have particularly 'great' minds but we do find great ideas fascinating to discuss. We have been known to sit up to the wee hours of the morning exploring some idea that one of us throws out for discussion. We trust each other enough to be open in our beliefs and understanding. We don't always agree on every topic [reformed theology comes to mind], but we still love each other when the discussion finally wanes. We all believe that words have power.      

Then there's our TV viewing habits. OK, I admit it...we like Andy of Mayberry. In fact the Hallmark Channel is the only place we land with anything approaching true regularity TV wise. I'd much rather be doing something creative [writing comes high on that list], and so would Hutch. He's working on a new CD of original love songs right now.

One thing that Hutch and I have learned in our early middle age is that we're not much interested in doing the stuff required by others to fulfill some kind of personal agenda they might be nursing along. We've kind of been there- done that- got the T shirt. I spent a whole lot of years trying to be the 'church lady' & 'club woman'. I was in everything, headed more than I should, & finally saw the ultimate futility of the Machiavellian politics usually involved. Unfortunately that seems to be a common model in traditional churches and civic clubs. I guess that's why home church is such a great fit for us. 

So where does that leave us now? Well for one thing we're getting pretty comfortable in our skins. Hutch is known for ruthlessly telling the truth. He doesn't try to sugarcoat anything. If he doesn't feel called to something he'll let you know right away. He says his memory is too short for him to successfully tell social lies LOL. I love that about him! But folks with hidden agendas don't typically feel that comfortable around him.  

I find I'm becoming like him. Surprisingly enough it seems that God is leading me more every day in that particular direction. It's that old 'tell the truth in love' thing. I think women in general and me in particular have a built in need for the approval of others. We are typically the nurturers and comforters in the family. Along with those lovely mercy gifts there comes a down side- the desire to seek the approval of others. And if we're not careful that desire can spiral out of control & become toxic in our lives. Somebody called it 'approval addiction'. I think it stems from not really knowing who you are & whose you are. There's a great peace in knowing yourself well enough to just be your authentic self. Likewise there is peace in knowing that the only real approval you need is God's...and He loves you unconditionally. 

You can't be good enough, or kind enough, or smart enough for Him to love you any more than He already does. You can only surrender yourself a little bit more every day so that He can add goodness, kindness, & even wisdom to your character. You can ask Him to help you open some of the locked doors you have in your life so that His light of truth and healing can shine in and cleanse those shadowy places. After all, He's fully aware of what you think you're hiding in there LOL. And as flawed as we all are, He still loves us. That is truly Amazing Grace!     

So in this middle stage of my life I'm learning to be my best self in the Lord. I embrace the fact that some folks just aren't going to like me very much. That's OK. After all, if everybody liked me all of the time I'd be a pretty bland person wouldn't I? Bland sort of like that lukewarm water in the Bible that Jesus says He'd spew out of his mouth. 

Wherever you are I hope today you get a chance to take off your social mask and be your real self and that you find yourself invigorated by the experience.     

      

Quiet Joys

I've been thinking today about quiet joys. These are the things, people, jobs, or places that fill you with a peace that, in the blink of your eye, suddenly blend into true joy. Now I know that joy is given of God and that it is not happiness. Happiness is fleeting and like all other emotions it ebbs and flows like water. It is what the world tells us we must strive for. If we don't find or produce happiness for ourselves, we've somehow failed in life. Happiness is the world's counterfeit for Joy. Joy is priceless. Joy is a gift from the Lord. Joy doesn't ebb and flow- it stays. 

I think real joy is the foundational underpinning of everything else. It is that immutable knowledge of God's unshakable love & grace. Joy is always there, especially in the hard times. Soooo, the question becomes why don't I recognize it in all circumstances? The answer, of course, is that I'm human and that impedes my understanding. I fall into the trap of thinking I'm the center of the universe- especially when circumstances are rough or my fallen nature raises its ugly head [sickness, loss, grief, pride, *gulp* jealousy...the list is pretty extensive]. 

So now why have I called this post 'Quiet Joys'? The answer is that I've realized, once again, that there is so much joy to be found in this life and that it is often sitting right in front of me waiting for me to recognize it. Case in point....mopping the kitchen floor. OK now I know you're rolling your eyes in disgust, but please hang with me a moment as I explain. 

Recently I began mopping the kitchen floor each day. It only takes a few minutes to do and my theory was that if I mopped each day, over time, the general appearence of my floor would improve....slowly. It certainly has, but that's not the point of this post. I've found that doing this small mindless chore every day has given me joy. Yes, joy.

OK, no angels have descended to sing or give a heavenly message in my kitchen. My husband hasn't come home from work and been blinded by the dazzling kitchen floor and burst into tears of delight. Actually no one has noticed how great my kitchen floor looks. Honestly, I don't even notice it after I mop it. But the act of mopping the floor has given me so much simple joy that now I don't think I'd want to pass a day without doing it. 

Does this mean that I'm a little OCD? Maybe...but I really think it shows me how much joy there is to be found in the doing of simple things. Here's an explanation- my attitude was:  How can I improve my home. I'm not talking about expensive renovation of my house, we couldn't possibly afford something like that. But what can I do with what I already have to be a good steward. Every day mopping was the easy answer.

So do I think that mopping is a spiritual exercise. No, I don't- but I do think having my heart poised towards God, looking for ways to serve, being open to the elegant simplicities of His answers- all these are quite spiritual and ultimately priceless. And all are born out of changes He's continually making in me. All are born out of something God is doing not what I try to do. I can't make my attitude more loving, humble, & quiet. Only God can do those things in me, I can only be thankful and grateful.

In closing, I hope today you can find God showing you some quiet joys in your own life. Maybe in something as simple as mopping your kitchen floor.                          

Goals and a Short Ramble on Sanctification

         

My husband, Hutch is great at setting goals every year. In fact if you go over to his blog [here at the 'Family' icon], you can read his musings on this topic. I, on the other hand, am not as disciplined. I do love to set goals, but I fall into that category of folks who set a too lofty goal, too speedy time-line, or try to tackle just too many goals all at once and then feel remorse when I fail to meet all my expectations.

And then there's always that basic question to consider-is our time our own or does it actually belong, like everything else about us, to God? I believe that our lives are a journey of sanctification- God making us more like Him. Therefore I believe my time, like all else about me does, in fact, ultimately belong to Him. With that in mind, I feel I need to be a competent and Godly overseer of this measure of time and life that God has appointed me.  

Sooo...that means I can't afford to just drift like a jellyfish on the surface of my life. Nor can I try to make life conform to some artificial set of easy ruIes I'd like to impose upon it. I can't let the waves of the world, my own laziness, or my bent towards useless legalism make me waste this precious and priceless gift. Nor can I just let my life fritter away while I scramble hopelessly in reaction to it's invariable circumstances both good and bad. God says in the Bible that the rain falls on both the righteous and the unrighteous [Matt. 5:45]- that's the story and the nature of life in a nutshell, isn't it? But how I react to it [life and its infinite challenges]...with the help of God's strength, grace, and correction... well I believe that's my journey of sanctification.          

So this year, on my personal pilgrimage of sanctification, I'm setting a goal to be [with God's help] a better steward of my life and set more practical and more achievable goals.  And no, before you ask, I haven't finished the manuscript I had planned to be done with by Thursday. I made progress, which is a good thing, I just haven't been able to see its completion. Sigh...Another instance in my life of overestimating my ability and underestimating my time constraints. So I'll need to step back and re-evaluate my time line on that particular project. 

But I begin to ramble so....Today I'll be looking at four areas: personal, financial, spiritual, & homemaking [career] goals. I'm not quite sure what new goals I'll set in each of these areas. Hutch and I will sit down tomorrow evening and discuss our goals and get each others' imput/wisdom. Hopefully then we'll each have a clearer idea of what we hope to accomplish individually and as a family in the upcoming year.

I always get excited about doing this each year. And even though I invariably fall short on achieving all my goals, I do see overall progress in most areas. As a person with a perfectionist personality, I constantly have to remind myself that not making a goal in one small area does not eliminate the positive progress I've made in all other areas. On a practical note, it sure helps me to take the long term view not the immediate one while making my yearly evaluations.

Hope where ever you are, you too can see the good from the past year and look forward to expanding it in the upcoming one.     

Still Learning About Forgiveness

          

It's sort of disheartening that at my age I'm still having to learn about forgiveness. At 53, I kind of feel like it should be one of those, 'been there done that' checked off kind of items on my Character 'to-do' list. But God is still having to take me over the highway overpass cloverleaf of life to learn how to forgive and how to receive forgiveness again and again. You know what I'm talking about. It's like you keep taking the wrong exit on one of those circling highway mazes. You know where you're supposed to be going but somehow, in  your own strength, you're just not getting there. 

I'm realizing that this is going to be one of the skills I'll probably be needing to fine tune until I'm standing in heaven *sigh*. That fact was illuminated to me..again... this week. And it is also a familiar and painful truth that God is trying to build into my stubborn human soul that most often I'm at fault.

Yes, someone said to me once that all anger is based on perceived injustice. I've found that to be true in my life. If I think someone is not treating me the way I should be treated....well, I get testy. The question follows, how well should I be treated? As Hutch always says if I, or anyone for that matter, truly gets what he/she deserves, we'd all be in Hell wouldn't we? Not a happy thought. 

Sooooo...with all that said, I must confess that God gave me a peek into some of the real motives for the anger slowly building in me this weekend and it was a pretty ugly view. I've been impatient, controlling, & generally fast to speak and slow to think around my Mom. All this has led up to me realizing how hurtful a person can be without realizing it.

After asking her forgiveness and receiving it, and after setting my will to learn from this nasty set of mistakes, I'm hopeful I can grow more into the kind of person I'd like to be. The kind of person who pleases God. I'm asking God to help me with this, and I know He will. I just hope that the next time this particular test rolls around, I take the right exit on life's cloverleaf- so to speak, & I pass.     

A Father's Legacy

I had a wonderful time at our little porch church yesterday. I feel like I learned so much from what the others had to share and from their questions as well. The thing that is resonating most with me today is a passage of scripture we worked on together. It is the first part of Proverbs 4 [this chapter really came alive for my son Jon]. Hutch called it, 'The Man's Chapter in Proverbs'. Basically the first sentence says: 'My Children, listen to what your father teaches you.' Of course the whole chapter is full of wonderful nuggets, but this morning as I was reviewing what we learned, I got stuck here.

Suddenly I was trying as hard as I could to remember some of the things my father, grandfathers, and stepfather taught me. To my surprise they taught me a lot without saying a word. My grandfather Walton taught me about kindness. He was a strong quiet man who never had much to say, but he was invariably kind to everyone. When I was a little child, he and my father would take me to the zoo every Sunday afternoon. As a hard working railroad man I'm sure he would have preferred to rest on Sunday afternoon, but he and Dad took me to that little small town zoo at least a million times. We'd get a loaf of stale bread from my grandmother's pantry and set out. We'd feed the animals and just be together. 

My Daddy had one day off a week from his job as a furniture salesman. But I remember them as 'Adventure Days'. In the summer we'd get in his car early in the morning and make the rounds to all the farms around that had ponies and horses. I'd pet them as Dad talked to the farmers. The day was  complete when we made our weekly stop by the local Seed & Feed Store. I'd smell the rich scent of smooth dark saddles and admire the elaborate embossed leather worked roses running over them. I'm sure he would have loved to sleep in on his day off and just loaf around. But he never did that, he spent his only day off with me doing what I wanted to do. He taught me unselfishness.

My Stepfather, raised as an orphan, had every reason to believe the world was a terrible hard place. In fact he spoke many times of the abusive nuns at the church orphanage where he spent his childhood until he was rented out to a farmer to work at twelve. But he was the happiest man I've ever known. He loved to laugh and tell corny jokes. He was a larger than life figure. He had the biggest heart in the world and even sort of adopted my birth father's dad. He'd go over to my granddad's house every Saturday morning to smoke cigars and visit.

But I guess the wisest thing any of the menfolk in my family taught me as a child was an ongoing lesson given by my paternal grandfather. Pa was an alcoholic most of his life. As a little child I knew something was wrong, just not exactly what. He suffered from what would now be deemed an anxiety disorder, but back then nobody had any idea such things even existed. In his early 50's he suffered a heart attack and could no longer do the type of gas station work he'd done before. He decided to open a Fish Bait & Tackle Shop next to his house. A little old guy down the street who ran a TV repair shop started coming by several times a week to just sit with Pa and talk. No one knew it in the family, but this precious older man was a Christian who had felt led to minister to my grandfather. In the course of a year Pa was saved and his life took a radical new direction. He quit drinking, joined the church, and by the time he died thirty years later he'd been serving as a deacon for many many years. As he lay dying, I sang his favorite hymns to him and he roused enough to tell me he loved me. Pa taught me the most important lesson of all, God can and does change people. It's truly not over till its over. 

The funny thing that strikes me about these men is that none of them were very educated, none of them were a success by the world's standards, and none of them ever set out to deliberately teach me the wisdom I learned from them. They just lived it. That fact alone makes me examine my life and ask God to show me where I need to change and grow. I know for sure I need to work on being kind, unselfish, & positive no matter what- for that I can thank Daddy, Pap, KK, & Pa.   

       

I've Been Very Busy Lately

I haven't written in a few days because I've been very busy. Not in the way you would think, but busy in an  internal and spiritual sense. God has been working on me :). I like it when He does that because it sort of shifts my thinking around a good bit.

Lately I've been exploring what it really means to have Jesus be the Lord of my life. The whole Lordship concept is hard to understand, especially here in America where we are so proud of doing things 'our' way. But I'm finding the more I study and practice His Lordship, the easier it gets. Not only that- the more I practice looking for God's Lordship and honoring it, the more blessings I see in my life.

Anyway, even at the advanced age of 53, it's very clear that God is still molding and fine tuning me. I see that fact as a wonderful gift. In the past, I might have struggled with feelings of failure. You know what I'm talking about if you are like me and have tendencies towards perfectionism. But lately I'm just more interested in seeing where God is leading me than wasting time beating myself up. It is always incredible when God shows me a peek at what He's doing in my life and in the lives of those around me. Seeing the nuts and bolts of how He's weaving lives together is awe inspiring to me. God's sovereignty is truly, truly amazing, isn't it?

I love that verse in 1st Thessalonians [I can't recall the exact address, I believe its around verse 1:23] but in a nutshell it says: 

A good life is built upon three simple things:

Living a quiet life,

Minding your own business,

Working for a living.

Why do we make it so hard? I don't know, but I'm adding these three practical steps to my list of Godly 'how to's'. I pray that wherever you are, you too can see God's hand in your life today.   

A Few Thoughts on Simplicity

         

As you know, if you've been reading here much, Hutch and I are embarking on a new chapter in our lives that revolves around simplifying. As a young married couple we were in a church with many wealthy folks who were very very kind to us. Since we both were raised in relatively modest circumstances, their lifestyles were quite a startling revelation to us. So, thinking this was the 'good way' to live, we worked very hard to achieve some level approaching this affluent style of living. And no, before you ask, we never got there LOL.

We did get our children raised and then we turned to each other and in sort of a 'now what' moment we decided that we wanted our empty nest years to be Simple. We wanted to put less importance on things and more on each other and enjoying the things we loved.

I can honestly say it was a a light bulb moment for me when I realized you can honestly enjoy something without needing to own it. I know I am shallow :), I have confessed it many times before. But in my younger years I actually thought I must own everything I coveted to enjoy it. So I spent lots of time on vacations moaning about how much better life would be if only we lived here, there, or everywhere we visited. Life would be great if only I had... you can fill in the blank.   

It was incredibly freeing to realize that I can enjoy something, thank God for the fact that He let me experience it, and then go back home and be perfectly content. Once that happened, God began teaching me more about contentment and what it looks like. 

I started radically reducing the amount of 'stuff' I owned. My closet is down to just the very few things I really wear. It is liberating to look in there and know that I love those few things and that I wear them with regularity. 

We have almost stopped eating out. This step came mainly as a result of health issues. But last night we had the most intimate and fun tapas type meal. We just had several appetizers that we love. No big meal, and it was refreshing. I served a small raw veggie tray, cheese and crackers, and the bacon water chestnut nibble [see Recipe Icon]. A small glass of red wine made it into a celebration.

I know I write alot about our porches, but we do spend a lot of time on them. We sit and talk or just watch the wind in the trees. I love to sit on one of the porches and read. It is quite relaxing. I also love to putter in the garden. At the moment we are in the planning stages of re-landscaping our yards. We are doing it with the thoughts of frugality & ease of upkeep. It is fun to plan and know that we have a goal to slowly accomplish.

I love to write! My manuscripts may never be published, but writing them has been a very fun and frugal hobby. I love to take walks. Hutch and I usually get out once in a weekend and take a walk. Either to a local park or occasionally just around our neighborhood. There is a really lovely place to walk at the back of our neighborhood. It follows a large creek. And walking it, you'd think you were in the middle of a wilderness area. There is a horse stable nearby and it is fun to go pet the horses. We have a modest fire pit in our backyard. If the drought abates, we might get to use it this Fall. I love the smell of a fire outside and roasting marshmallows is pretty good too.

When the kids were little their favorite pastime in Summer was walking the creek. They'd set out early in the morning in their pool shoes to walk & explore till lunch. They'd bring home their treasures for me to admire before settling into a long lazy hot afternoon on the porch swings. Kids know how to have fun!!!      

I love my local library! We use it for reading material and for DVDs. I like to watch educational DVDs during my workout on the treadmill. At the moment I'm going through a long series on the history of Britain. Hutch loves to tinker in his office studio. He was down there last night writing music. 

After being raised to believe celebrity was to be admired, it is great to have God shift my thinking to the absolute richness of an anonymous life well lived. So... these are our first steps towards understanding Simplicity & Simple Pleasures. I'm sure everyone's take on the Simple Life is quite different. But I can honestly say I do love our slow, peaceful, & intentional life.       

1st Corinthians 16:13

I try not to write many spiritual articles as I know some folks find them sort of tedious. But, saying that, I feel compelled to write about my memory verse for this week.

Some of you who come here often know that I like to read from the Old Testament during the cold Winter months then switch over to the New Testament during the Spring and Summer. It is a silly quirk of mine, I guess. But it is a system that has worked for me for a long, long time. I personally love to do Bible Study in a systematic way. So I use a formula I was taught years ago to help me understand what I'm reading and apply it to my life.

It's very simple really. The steps are:

1. Read the passage from the Bible.                                                2.Write it in your Bible notebook pretty much just as it's written.

3. Now write it as the Holy Spirit quickens it to you [personally....What does God want me to glean from the passage]. Usually for me one big truth becomes apparent.                                       4. This step is the hardest part- what is a practical thing you can do that will help you learn the truth that God just revealed to you? Write it down as your goal and practice it today.

In the morning, review how you did with it. If you're not pleased [and if you're not pleased God probably isn't either] with how you did, roll it over and continue until you think God would be pleased with your progress. We're not looking for perfection here, I usually have a Godly peace when I'm doing OK with any given goal. And I usually only try to implement one new truth at a time. Often it takes me many weeks to feel like I'm just getting a handle on integrating the new spiritual skill into my life. Alas, some skills will always be on my spiritual plate...unfortunately overcoming pride leaps to mind, as well as stamping out unforgiveness, *sigh*. Anyway, in a nutshell, that's how I study.

This week I have been Reading in 1st Corinthians 16. I was sort of disappointed initially because nothing new was quickening to me. But....then I got to the very last part and I knew God had that little part, what  some folks would deem a 'throw away,' was a verse for me to memorize and put into action in my life.

It reads: Stay Alert, Stand Firm in your Faith, Be strong, Be Brave, And do all your work in Love. 1st Cor. 16:13. Every part of this little verse is integral to my life right now. Oh my, I can't tell you how 'on the nose' this verse is for me!

How should I stay alert? Monitoring what I watch on TV and read leaps to mind. What about standing firm in my faith? Well, polishing up my Spiritual witness is one way. I don't mean trying to be the perfect fake church lady, I'm talking about being a real, and real flawed, Christ Keeper. Sometimes letting folks see you're far from perfect but still plugging along the Christian Highway is just what God wants. And what about being strong and brave? Telling the truth in love sort of fits that one, doesn't it? This is really hard for me because sometimes I'm afraid the truth might hurt people's feelings. And my favorite is the last one- how am I going to do all my work in Love? Believe it or not, this one is relatively simple. I'm just praying for folks, softly singing praise songs or listening to them on CDs, & trying to do a memory refresh on Bible verses I've tried to memorize over the years as I do my housework. Even scrubbing the toilet is easier when done in love. It's amazing how you can immerse yourself in God's love by doing such easy practical things!  

Anyway, my experience with the Lord this week is another great example of how God can use something as simple as what nowadays would be just the ending of a letter-  a "Love you,' or 'Sincerely,' to impact our lives. And it reinforces to me the wonderful fact that the Bible is always The Living Word of God. It sure has been alive for me this week.

           

One Month To Go

As of tomorrow, my precious daughter will only have one month left till her wedding. I'm having a hard  time wrapping my mind around this fact. She has been an absolute joy from the moment she drew breath. She's funny, sweet, kind, and beautiful. OK, I think she's talented & smart too- but that's a mom talking.

The wedding planning and implementation have been so much more complicated than I ever imagined! Back in the day, you could do a wedding in as little as a month. Get a dress, send invitations, have the wedding ceremony at the church, and have a cake & punch reception in the church's fellowship hall.

Weddings have really changed. My mother got married by a Justice of the Peace when she was 19 years. She's told my daughter that she got teased for being so OLD when she tied the knot. Most girls of her generation in the South were married by 18 or were destined to be maiden ladies. My Grandmother eloped when she was 16 with my grandfather. He was a few years older than she was - an old man of 25 or so.

But since times have changed, I guess weddings were bound to change as well. Allie and Josh's wedding will be spiritual [one of Hutch's best friends is officiating, the couple will take their first married communion with a silver family communion goblet, & Allie is using her great grandmother's wedding band], and it will be a celebration party too. There will be dancing and eating and general merry making well into the night.

The thing is....I still have a perfectly clear vision of how Allie looked when she was born, her first word, and the day as a toddler she curled up under the bed and decided to take a long nap [I was frantic because it seemed as if she had disappeared]. I can see her first singing performance for a county wide 4 H competition, complete with the baggy gold lame MC Hammer pants I sewed for her. And I can see her now as a professional musician who performs with such feeling and interpretation that I'm always surprised the polished performer on the stage is my child.

I can see her smiling the morning of her first Prom, so excited about the navy blue formal her grandmother had bought and her first French manicure. And I also see the tears she shed when her heart was broken for the first time. And now this child who is an adult is getting married. I couldn't be happier for her, or love her husband-to-be more....and yet there is a wisp of something bittersweet skirting the edges of all these positive feelings. My baby will be a wife. Oh My...... I'm hanging onto the scripture, "A man shall leave his mother, and woman shall leave her home." I know God has ordained and orchestrated this all, nothing has escaped His notice in either Allie's courtship or wedding plans. And I'm so thankful that in all the planning and excitement, I have not been forgotten by my Heavenly Father either. Only He could put such overwhelming joy in a mother's heart as she watches her daughter leave childhood behind and blossom from a lovely happy sprite into an elegant Godly woman.         

The Truth About Hump Day

When I was a school teacher we called this 'hump day' because it meant we were halfway through the grueling week. I look back on those long years when I was working outside the home and honestly they are a blur. I have told my children many times that if I had it to do all over again, I'd stay at home even if it meant we would have been skating on the edge of poverty.

My memories of my children's childhood stop when I went back to work full time. Even though I took them with me to work [I was an elementary school teacher] that was hard and presented its own set of problems. So I am especially glad and thankful to be able to be a homemaker now.

One reason is that I know I'm functioning better in my role as keeper of the home. The house is clean, the clothes are clean, when my husband comes home there is the wonderful smell of a cooked supper in the house.....there is peace in our household. It is an oasis from the stressful world. Now I know some folks are out there saying 'she's such a downtrodden woman, poor thing'. But that's just not true.

Believe me, I've been involved in 'worldly pursuits' enough over the course of my life to know that they just aren't all they're cracked up to be. Even when I was busy living the gypsy 'theater' life back in my early twenties I didn't have as much fulfillment, peace, and joy as I now enjoy.

I've heard women say, 'we just couldn't make it if I didn't work'. But I also have an actor friend who, though highly educated, lives far far below the poverty line for the sake of his 'art', and before you ask- no, he doesn't live on government assistance. He's happy....in fact he has often told me, "It's amazing how little a person can live on."

I guess it really all boils down to what makes you happy....what is important to you....and what you're willing to sacrifice in order to get it. Those are good questions to ask yourself. And another thing I've learned the hard way is that by not making a tough decision- you're really making a passive decision.

In my life, the passive decisions I've allowed time and circumstances to make for me have been the ones I've regretted the most. I encourage you to pray and ask yourself the honest questions about how you're living your life. Are you living to fulfill some nebulous standard that the world has set, one that no matter how much money you make will never be truly achieved? Or are you looking to the Bible and the Lord to set your standard and mode of living?

If you're sitting at home reading this after a brutal Hump Day at work I encourage you to ask yourself this question....what did I achieve today that has eternal significance? If you can't think of anything, not even one thing, maybe its time to ask God to help you re access your life.   

What's Driving your Life?

Yes, it's true. I've finally finished 'Little House on the Freeway'. I'd read it before but I did so with a more thoughtful and intent motive in mind this time. As always I take away something new. This time it was a a subheading that I'd somehow missed before, but one that I highly need to put into practice in my life.

It began on page 150 and it had to deal with teaching children how to handle their emotions. OK, how I missed this the other times I've read this little gem, I'll never know. But in a nutshell Mr. Kimmell is teaching how to think with your mind and not your emotions. As a woman this is a trap I must be on guard against constantly.

Basically he's highlighting a very down to Earth principle. God gave us our mind and our emotions and we're supposed to use both, but in very different arenas of our lives. What an epiphany this is for me. So here's how I interpreted what he says in a practical vein.

In my daily life I can use my emotions as a safety value [example: we women cry when they're stressed, happy, or just because our hormones are doing their monthly two step]. I can use my emotions as a ministry: weep with those who morn, rejoice with those who are celebrating. I can use my emotions to enhance showing all the different kinds of love to those around me. I can be passionate with my husband, maternal with my children, and show agape and friendship types of love to those God puts in my path. But here's the caution. I'm not supposed to let my emotions cloud my clear thinking.

One of my favorite promises from the Lord is that He has enabled us to 'not have a spirit of fear, but one of love and a sound mind'. We should never act on emotions alone: period. They're too powerful and could be too damaging to let them run amok. I am fully convinced that God wants me to live a life of Godly moderation in all things. He does not want me to be a pendulum swinger [I'm still working hard on that!!!] in anything. This takes discipline and God's Grace to put into action. 

I believe that some folks are addicted to riding the roller coaster of emotional thinking and living. Unfortunately many times their lives show deep scars from this fleshly style of life. If this rings a bell with you, I surely hope you'll consider asking God to remind you each time you start to live your life with emotions at the wheel of your thinking. I have asked God to do this for me and I'm amazed at how many times His still small voice prompts me to take a deep breath and mentally step away from my inner turmoil before acting. Just this simple action has saved me so much pain and the inevitable bad consequences of poor decision making.

Even though Mr. Kimmell meant this topic to be for the teaching of children, I think it could be useful for anyone to learn.

      

I Alone

My Morning Bible reading and study have been in Jeremiah and 1st Corinthians just about all Fall and it looks like it will be taking up most of the Winter too. The reason is.....I'm stuck on the the 13th Chapter of 1st Cor. [The love chapter]. Every week I think this will be the week I get on with the book of Corinthians and leap to the 14th chapter... then God shows me something else I'm supposed to be working on from the 13th chapter.

Anyway, yesterday I started to get stuck in Jeremiah too- but for a very good reason. As you know Jeremiah can be a slow tedious read and study. The Israelites keep messing up and God keeps warning them, until He finally has to lower the boom [so to speak] on them. Human nature hasn't changed very much since ancient times, I guess. But yesterday I got to the Chapter in Jeremiah I'd been waiting for. Chapter 29 has one of my very favorite verses in the whole Bible: Jer. 29:11 I alone know the plans I have for you, plans to bring you prosperity and not disaster, plans to bring about the future you hope for.

Let me tell you that one verse has gotten me through some of the toughest times of my life. It's a promise from the Lord to each and every one of us, His children. I love, love, love this verse. My kids have heard it so many times it must be engraved on their brains and hearts [I sure hope it is].

But yesterday the Bible once again proved to me that it is indeed the Living Word of God because it came alive as I was reading the run up to my favorite verse. In context: God has sent Jeremiah to give a message to the poor Israelites who were carried off into slavery and prison by the Babylonian heathens.

They were living as the lowest of the low in a place so sinful and evil we still use the word Babylon as a connotation for vileness and perversion. God's people were being used and abused in every awful way imaginable. Worse, they couldn't protect their children or themselves. Yet God was still with them. He essentially tells them 'take a deep breath, calm your fears, and make a good life with what you've got'. He says they should marry, have children, and prosper insomuch as they can within the boundaries set for them by their captors. He commands them to do all these things because He says: I alone know the plans I have for you, plans to bring you prosperity and not disaster, plans to bring about the future you hope for.

I get chills just thinking about this promise. And the great thing is that it still holds true for us today in very practical ways. How many folks are slaves to some sort of addiction they believe can't be overcome? The Lord says, I alone know the plans I have for you. How many people are locked up in the prison of emotional, mental, or physical illness with no hope of breaking those bonds? God says, I alone know the plans I have for you.

Once when we were on a Lay Witness weekend my DH had an awkward situation arise in one of the small groups he was leading. People all around the room were telling of wonderful and miraculous things God had done from them. Everyone spoke except one very quiet sad looking man. My Husband tried to very gently nudge him to share because Hutch felt the man needed to talk. As the fellow began to speak he broke down in tears. He had been a Baptist minister whose wife had recently divorced him. She'd decided she didn't want to be a preacher's wife anymore. In one fell swoop he'd lost his family, his career, and his church. His whole life was a scandal. Of course Hutch immediately prayed for him along with the other folks in the group. As the prayer finished Hutch knew what he must share with the sobbing man. He told the man that unlike the others in the group who'd shared triumphant testimonies, his personal story wasn't finished. He was going through a very deep and painful valley that was true, but God wasn't finished with him yet.

Maybe you're in a deep dark valley right now. I've sure been in several and I know I'll walk through more before I go to be with Jesus. This Christian pilgrimage we're on is no bed of roses, is it? We put on a good face and say that every thing's 'fine' at church, but sometimes it hurts so bone deep you're sure you'll die from the pain. God uses that refining fire of pain & loss & _____ [fill in your own blank] and with God's grace, you come out on the other side of your personal valley stronger and a little more like Christ each time. It's a process. I alone know the plans I have for you. 

I know in my life sometimes I just don't understand what God is up to. Right now is a perfect example. We are in a season in our life when God has given very specific instructions to my husband. We are to wait.....wait to join or start a new church, wait to see where God is taking us, wait on pretty much every major decision that comes up. For now our life is all about prayerfully waiting. And I hate waiting!!! Thankfully one of the mysteries of the Almighty is that life can look like a total train wreck to human eyes, but He's still in control. I alone know the plans I have for you.....   

      

Christmas

Christmas is coming fast! I'm sure this is a fact that has not escaped anyone reading this blog site. Around here the Christmas decorations were up in some stores by Halloween. That just doesn't seem right to me. It makes me feel uneasy to see folks getting ready that early.

Then there's the rush to the Malls on 'Black Friday'...I've never gone being the kind of person who doesn't really enjoy shopping or crowds. But the whole concept of 'Black Friday' sort of rubs me the wrong way too. I guess because it makes Christmas that much more commercial. And we all know, or should, that Christmas is about far more than gifts, trees,and merrymaking.

Sometimes I think we're regressing to what the holiday was in England several centuries ago- a riotous and drunken debacle. Only we're not getting tipsy on alcohol we're overindulging in rampant commercialism. I freely admit that I can get just as caught up in the madness as the next person. I've wanted Christmas morning to be 'just right'- ie everybody gets what they want. I've fallen for that lie occasionally, to my shame.

Christmas has become not just a holy day for Christians- it's devolved into some kind of bland fruitless bacchanalia of spending and disappointment for the world at large. On some level, I can see why the Puritans outlawed it's celebration. I don't mean to be a Scrooge, but we have really downsized our personal celebrations in the last few years.

For one thing we don't go to many Christmas parties anymore. There's an artificial gaiety to them that is distasteful to me. And we've drastically pared down our Christmas gift lists- just immediate family. And usually just one gift and a stocking. I still decorate like I did when the kids were small. But I only use decorations I already have, I don't buy new ones. We still host a big meal on Christmas Eve for friends and family, but it's very low key- no gifts or outrageous displays of food. I do love to participate in Operation Shoebox. And I like to take handmade baby things to the local Crisis Pregnancy Center during the Holiday season.   Actually, my particular favorite thing to do during the season is the Christmas Eve candlelight communion service. Ahhh....in all the hustle and bustle of the season it's a rare moment of peace, serenity, and faith.

           This year I'm putting a quote in our Christmas cards that pretty much sums the heart of what I'm feeling up :

Are you willing to believe that love is the strongest thing in the world - stronger than hate, stronger than evil, stronger than death - and that the blessed life which began in Bethlehem nineteen hundred years ago is the image and brightness of the Eternal Love? Then you can keep Christmas. - Henry Van Dyke

A Softened Heart

I've got to say that I believe the greatest gift God gives us [other than salvation] is our families. I have enjoyed them so much this past week. Allie and Josh are catching their plane as I write to go visit his family. She is so honored because she is going to get to meet over thirty of his relatives in California this week for Thanksgiving.

And I so enjoyed my week with my Mom. God showed me an amazing thing over the course of the week. He's been working on me for several months about my attitude towards family. And the culmination of it was last week.

I'm ashamed to say that I saw my 'old ' self in one of the stores Mom and I went into. There was a lady my age with her older mom and the daughter had a sour expression on her face and seemed angry to be shopping. She was a true crabapple. I'm afraid that's been me at times. God has been convicting me that my attitude needed to be one of thankfulness for my family and He gave me the grace to truly feel that way this week.

I've been so blessed in my life to always know that my family [parents, grandparents, husband, children] loves me. I praise God for each one of them. And I praise Him that he showed me how my wrong attitude was hindering the wonderful blessing He intended for me. As Thanksgiving approaches I hope whoever reads this gets to spend the holiday in the warm and loving presence of their family and truly see them through new eyes and with a softened heart. 

   

My Father's Birthday

It is absolutely lovely here today. The skies are a clear vivid blue and the air is crisp. I think it was down to 39 degrees last night. I love Fall. One of our older neighbors unfortunately passed away earlier in the Summer and now her home is for sale. Landscapers were out early cutting down a tree and trimming the bushes over there this morning. The noise of their machines wafted through the still cold air to my house. It just seems like yesterday we went to her house warming party.

She and her husband had moved here in retirement to be closer to their children. That was almost 20 yrs ago. It's amazing how time goes so quickly. I can remember first feeling that when my father died. I was 12 and he was only 39. The path of his life was very short and ended abruptly. I can recall thinking it odd that some things were the same; and yet everything fundamentally important to me shifted, in an upheaval akin to a violent earthquake, on the day he died.            

Certainly my life changed in the expected ways at his death. Suddenly I was the child of a struggling single parent. Numbing grief and something approaching functional poverty were ever present. It's a sterling testimony to the Lord and my wonderful mother that we were able to continue living a borderline middle class life as we had to sell our home and move in with my grandparents.

Even so some everyday things remained the same and that bothered me. My Dad's car stayed parked in the driveway and I recall that for just a second, many times over the ensuing days after he died, I wondered what he was doing home from work so early. Then I'd get mad because it just didn't seem right that a temporal thing like a car could not have been changed at all by his death when I was changed so permanently and radically.

His birthday is Oct. 30 and always at this time of the year I ponder what he might have done with all those extra years had he lived. He was a good man who was kind and funny and had such a soft heart he got fired from a job as a loan officer once because he readily gave money to folks who were having  hard times and didn't plan to pay their loans off when times got better.

I remember him as a man who spent his few days off carting his little girl from farm to farm so she could visit the ponies and other livestock. And he lavished hours coddling his racing pigeons. Many Sunday afternoons were spent either at the local zoo with loaves of day old bread for the 'exotic' ducks and rabbits or sitting at our battered kitchen table painting pictures of horses 'by the numbers'. He had the knack of seeing the funny sides of even terribly bad situations. He was a great Dad who instilled in me a sense of wonder and joy at the everyday miracle of life. I just wish his own life had been longer.

I'm not bitter and I don't question God's taking him, although I do mean to ask about it when I get to Heaven. The loss of my father does however make me conscious, especially around Dad's birthday of how I've spent all these 'extra' years I've been given. After all I'm 52, I've had 13 years more than Dad had here on Earth. So what have I done with those precious years, I ask myself? It puts life in prospective for me and keeps me aware that each day is a gift. Each day we have with our loved ones is a precious and irreplaceable treasure. Anything I can do for them, any kind word I can pass along, any tiny task I can do that lightens their day makes a difference.

I want to love folks, especially my family, extravagantly every mortal day that I have. If I learn to love people well in the here and now, surely I'll have gotten the nuts and bolts of it right by the time I get to Heaven and Eternity will be all the more sweet.            

      

Learning the Attributes of LOVE

I've been studying the LOVE chapter in 1st Cor. for the last several days. It's always a shock to me when I get there during my Bible reading. The shock is that true Godly LOVE is so different from what our world tells us love should be. And I know who's version is right, but why do I, do we, buy into the wrong representation? Am I, are we, truly that gullible?

In a word, yes. Is that anything new? No. I'm sure in Bible times when the ladies went to the well every day to gather water and hang out, they weren't talking exclusively about spiritual principals as they chatted. I bet they had a hard time keeping gossip, sensationalism, and whining out of their conversations just like I do. Probably some trash was talked about their husbands, children, even mother in laws. 

But back to 1st Cor.- I usually remember the part about LOVE being patient and kind, even though I have a hard time practicing those attributes. The fact that LOVE is not jealous, conceited, or proud comes next. Then soon comes, LOVE keeps no lists of wrongs. Oh brother, I really hate that one because my treacherous memory wants to draw up all his wrongs [there aren't alot on this list] and none of mine [several single spaced pages here]. So that's where I am today, still struggling to put feet on those LOVE attributes, today ....and most days to come.

Being non-jealous, not conceited, and eliminating pride are in total juxtaposition with what the world wants from us. Watch any TV show, read a romance novel, or listen to any country song on the radio and you'll get the message that love, especially romantic love, is about body image [IE catering to your flesh], coolness[read pride here], and what the other person can do for you [really just selfishness in a rational disguise].

When did we as a culture become so shallow? No the true question is why do we, knowing they are wrong, continue to let those things reign in our lives? For me its all about who owns me, the world or God. If God has true headship in my life then I live to please Him and not myself. Remember that old statute, I think its from the Westminster Confession? 'The chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy His presence forever'. The bottom line is- It's not about me...it never was. I wish that foundational truth came easier to me.

In my own life the more I practice unselfishness, hard as that is, the more happy and fulfilled I am in my love relationship with my DH. By seeking to please him [my DH- and no I'm not talking about becoming a doormat here- more on that later], I please God, who in turn fulfills me in ways I never dreamed- temporal and eternal. Love is not a feeling, its an action. But the unselfishness of real love does produce wonderful emotional results.          

It's Not The Wedding, It's The Marriage

Allie is being a bridesmaid again this weekend. She has a lot of girlfriends who all think she is special. She has the gift of compassion so lots of people think she's their BFF- LOL. Consequently she has an extensive assortment of truly horrendous bridesmaids dresses. They run the gamut from awful marroon [think Halloween, dripping blood etc. here] to this weekend's selection, a very chic metallic fall leafy color. She's sung and played the flute in more nuptials than I can remember. In fact, next weekend she's playing the flute for yet another friend's wedding. 

She's seen all the wedding mistakes, snafus, and disasters. And when her time comes, she hopes to avoid the obvious ones. As she has a very developed sense of style, and is highly organized [one of her other spiritual gifts is administration] I know she will succeed. Her bridesmaids will wear something flattering and inexpensive. The ceremony will be memorable, but not a staged circus...I don't think a dove release or pumpkin shaped horse drawn carriage is in the cards- LOL. The reception will be a big blow out fun party. It will all be lovely, real, and certainly unique- If anybody can pull this off, Al can.

Anyway the reason I got on this topic is that it absolutely floors me the amount of money being spent on the modern wedding. I read somewhere that weddings run an average of 20,000 dollars...average. And its made me contemplate not only the money involved but the time, effort, etc. Nowadays even a small modest wedding takes at least 6-8 months to plan. I guess because venues book waaaaay in advance these days. And how many of these weddings are just the M of the B living out some kind of Disney/ Fairy Tale fantasy of her own...I wonder?

It's a far cry from what my Mom had- run to the Justice of the Peace, or I had, a beautiful wedding in the chapel of Hutch's folks' church with a small reception [cake, punch, & nuts] in the Fellowship Hall. No today's wedding is an EVENT. That's fine, I guess, but when Al was in High School she started keeping a Wedding Book. Basically a spiral notebook that she cut out pictures and glued into. I suggested it as a way to narrow down what was truly important to her and to just dream on- it's a girl thing, guys just don't get it. And I told her this quote- 'It's not the wedding, it's the marriage'. So...

That little notebook has had an amazing effect on my DD, that and being in countless weddings. She has been in very modest weddings, and affairs where just the reception alone has topped 30,000. And she's made a discovery. It's not the wedding it's the marriage. Yep, my daughter has become a wise woman. She's seen that some of her friends have not thought beyond the rice throwing & honeymoon to the real happily ever after. The Happily Ever After that takes work and God's grace to build.

She realizes that building her marriage relationship begins during courtship and the building of that lifelong- closest to any other human, two becoming one- relationship is far more important than a big splashy 'society' wedding. And yes she still wants a beautiful wedding. But being Al, she wants something that is sentimental, deeply spiritual, and intimate instead of a media event. She wants to honor God, her intended, and those near and dear to her, not impress or intimidate people she barely knows.

The wedding this weekend has 700 invited guests...no I'm not kidding. And you know what, that's great, it's just not Al's style. Even though she's comfortable being in front of a audience, she's a musician after all, she wants her wedding to be something different. Something unique, loving, and lovely- in my opinion that sort of describes Allie herself. But most of all, I know she wants something that will be all about the marriage, not just about the wedding....      

            

100 Things To Do Before You Die

I know there are a lot of these sorts of lists out there. Most of them are extravagant travel lists, or luxury acquisition inventories. Those lists leave a sour taste in my mouth. But a few years ago I was struck by something my wise husband said to our kids. He said that if you don't have a plan for your life, then life will just happen to you. We both firmly believe that God orchestrates the lives of his children. But that doesn't give us the right to have a 'don't worry, be happy' kind of attitude concerning this gift that is our time here on Earth.

And it was an epiphany to me to realize that I'm already living my eternal life in the Lord. It's not something that starts once this earthly body gives out. Right now the things I do and the way I live have eternal significance. So saying that, I decided to make a list of things I wanted [with God's grace and help] to accomplish in this mortal lifetime.

It's pretty neat how some of them have come to pass. Case in point: one of the things on my list was to find an arrowhead. Yeah I know to the normal person that seems kind of strange. But I've always been fascinated with history and just to hold something that old and special in my hand would be thrilling.I didn't purposely go out right away hunting arrowheads.I just placed the hope of finding one in the back of my mind. This is how God in His love and care for me accomplished my hope of finding that elusive piece of the past.

Hutch and I were on a Lay Witness Weekend down in South Ga and our host family owned a spread of land down by the river. They had a river house there where they held fish fries and family reunions etc. On that Saturday afternoon right after a rain shower they asked if we wanted to stroll down to the river house. So we set off.

On the hike there the man told us that their land was on the site of a huge Indian encampment because of a unique bend in the river. He told of the history of their place and needless to say I was enthralled. As he finished his tale we looked down at the dirt road we were walking on and there at out feet was a huge perfect white spear point just sticking up out of the wet red clay. Who knows how many years it had been there? The recent heavy rain had exposed it.

I told them my story of the my '100 things to do before you die' list and they kindly gave me the spear point. The Indian artifact wasn't that important to them, they had boxes filled with hundreds of similar items from that long ago culture found in the many years they'd owned the farm. But to me it was priceless. It is now mounted in a memory box and hung along our stair case. It's a constant visible reminder to me of God's love for me.

It may be silly to some but it warms my heart to know that the Creator of the universe cares enough about me to take such a hands on and loving interest in my life. Even the small things in our lives are important to God. Finding that spear point- in that place- in that time- was surely God ordained. After finding that spear point, I don't believe in mere coincidence anymore, I believe in Divine Appointments.

I encourage you to make your own list, and to be strengthened in your own faith as you see God work to bless and mature you.                   

Finding True Humility

I saw a quote the other day that I really love. It's from Rick Warren and it goes something like this: True humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less. I have been trying to get a handle on authentic humility for a long time. As a musician, even a mediocre one, I've been faced from time to time with effusive praise that made me uncomfortable. My standard answer has usually been, "Oh, thank you, you're very kind".    

That is an honest and genuine response but on a bigger scale and internally how do you find the meekness, gentleness, and humility the Bible talks about? I know I've written before about how I came to the conclusion some time ago that I didn't want to pray for myself except to ask God to do His will in my life. I had to get to the point where I wanted what He had for me more than I wanted my own way. That was and is hard for me to do consistently.

I do regard personal confession in prayer as integral to an authentic walk with God. You can't have a relationship with Him if you think you're capable of hiding something from Him.  God is omnipotent, He knows all my flaws and sins. He's just waiting for me to slowly mature, recognize, and [with His help] begin trying to rectify them. It's a process, and it will take my whole life. I will never 'arrive' so to speak. Knowing this fact makes me kinder to myself and others.

Right now I'm finding that the less I focus on myself...my struggles, my wants, my desires- the easier it is to tame the selfish beast that is my flesh. The less time I focus on Patty's problems and try to look outward to others the more peace, joy, and contentment I experience. Boiled down to its lowest common denominator I find life in Christ to be about servant-hood and sacrifice. That's not very politically correct, is it?  Not in our world where wealth, celebrity, and perversion turn the wheels of society. 

I once had a dream where there was a huge Olympic sized stadium filled with folks. I knew it was Heaven. But the neat thing was that a woman just like me was entering the stadium- like they do at the Olympics for the end of the marathon. And when this housewife looking lady stepped onto the track the crowd just went  nuts. In that moment, in that quirky dream, I'm convinced I saw reality. When I get to Heaven I will be cheered and lauded for trying to live as a Godly woman. In Heaven what is considered worthless here on Earth and even derided will show its true incalculable value. Honestly, I can't wait.

True humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less- This Rick Warren quote helps and encourages me immeasurably as I continue to seek humility. Maybe it will help you too.       

A Simple Miracle?

Yes, this is another entry about my Simple Living Odyssey. Today I'm thinking of containers. How does that have anything to do with the Simple Life, you're probably asking yourself. Well in my research for the Early Medieval manuscript I'm working on I was struck with how much those folk's everyday lives were the equivalent of our camping today. Even the kings lived a pretty spartan existence. They had no reliable heat, no indoor plumbing, and no privacy- everyone bunked down for the night on the floor or on the seating [mostly long bench type affairs] in the main hall. Even the king and his wife, who had the only bed and it was just a curtained affair, usually slept in the the great hall too. Talk about togetherness!!!

And when I think back to the OT in the Bible I realize that right now I live much easier than any of those people did. In fact the way even the poorest of us live would look like luxury to those long ago folks. So with that said I really zeroed in on containers.

Looking back on history, containers had to be handmade and they had to be made from what was at hand. If you needed a place to store your dried fruit, you had to make a basket, pot, etc. But I throw away the kind of thing that would be seen as riches in the ancient world every day. After I open and use up that mayo, I toss the jar. When I bring home my groceries I toss the plastic bags.

Here's a rider about plastic bags. I used to save them. And I have used them as garbage can liners, freezer containers, Christmas Wreath material, and I even tore them into shreds and crocheted doormats with them. But....I think in the darkness of night in their designated place in the laundry room they were secretly reproducing. I was soon overwhelmed with gigantic piles and stacks of them- big bags of little bags.

Hence came my inspiration to make grocery bags, save glass jars, and reuse plastic containers. The fabric grocery bag is a no brainer. The glass jars can be used to store food in the frig like Tupperware, or as little green houses to start slips in the garden. They are also great for making candles in, the candlelight seen through the glass is very appealing. The glass jars that will use a standardized jar lid can be canned with if you buy new seals and rings. Small  jars make very nice containers for homemade lip gloss, cream, deodorant, toothpaste, and sugar scrub. And I use the plastic containers mostly for storing seeds and craft items. Even tin cans are not sacred. I rinse them out and root slips of plants in them to give as gifts.

I believe if one of my empty mayo jars was transported back in time landing somewhere in the Holy Land, OT era, a person might pick it up, look it over, and proclaim it a miracle sent from Heaven a la 'The Gods Must Be Crazy' [a very funny and touching movie by the way]. I, of course, know that a mayo jar is not a miracle. But Albert Einstein once said that a person could live their life in two ways. One is to consider that nothing is a miracle, the other is to consider that everything is a miracle. Personally, I'm choosing to go with the last one.      

How Will I Choose?

A few weeks ago I had an amazing thing happen to me. I was sitting with my daughter in church and she whispered a question in my ear. I whispered back without even giving the answer much thought. My response surprised me so much that I knew it was not something from my experience or very limited wisdom. It had to be from the Lord- and more than that it had to be for me much more than it was for my daughter.

Let me explain. Allie, my daughter, was asking how she ought to respond to a certain circumstance in her life. This was a circumstance in which she had every right to feel a myriad of emotions including anger and fear. The words that came out of my mouth were directly from the Holy Spirit for they were certainly far beyond my poor abilities. I said very calmly and simply, “You can choose to react to this situation in your flesh, ie…anger, fear etc. Or you can choose to ask God to give you the grace to respond to this situation in His Spirit.” Operating in His Spirit would mean choosing to be loving and forgiving, even when no forgiveness was sought. It would mean being tolerant of others’ hurtful ways. It would mean giving up the sweet justice of proclaiming her own rightness and extending mercy to those who had spitefully used her.

It was one of those times when I sat stunned for a minute and tried to absorb exactly what I had just said. In an instant I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I must apply this basic truth to my own life. I must lay it over the landscape of my own experiences. And God in His kindness soon gave me abundant opportunities.

I read somewhere recently that as long as man has lived in communities there have been struggles in those same communities. Unfortunately because of our fallen nature we are quick to have our feelings hurt, have personal agendas, and become angry with each other. It’s just the very nature of our humanity. But I’m convinced God, in His great love for us, wants us to function above these destructive forces. The Bible states that we are to love others, even when they seem unlovable.

So that’s where the grace part comes in. I know that I am incapable, in my flesh, of being in charity with those who treat me badly. But I know through personal experience that God can and will change my attitude if I’m open to Him. Believe me- it is very painful for me to ask God to break my hard heart. Because I know He will, and I know it will hurt. But the outcome is so sweet that it is worth the pain many times over.

Just a week after God gifted me with this epiphany the ‘Big Test’ came. A Christian group I’m associated with went through a spiritual knothole. There was much strong fellowship, some tears, and bruised feelings all the way around. But I found that every time I turned my back on my raging flesh and asked for God’s grace to function in His Spirit an amazing thing happened to me.

Instead of worrying about my own poor abused self I began to mourn for the hurt feelings of the others. I began to see that they were injured in spirit, and needed nurturing. I along with others began to extend the compassion that comes from God to salve troubled hearts. God gave specific prayers in a group setting that proved incredibly healing. Now as a group we are slowly mending. There are still some tender spots, but every time we get together more healing takes place. I thank God for all this and I thank Him for showing me, through a simple question my daughter asked, that I have a gaping hole in my walk that needs constant mending.

I don’t expect to ever triumph over this weakness so completely that I never have to revisit it. I fully expect to struggle with it continually until God calls me home. But I do hope and pray that I get faster and faster at making the right decision about the arena of my life in which I will choose to deal with it. Will it be flesh or Spirit? It’s up to me to choose.

This was in the last issue of the wonderful magazine 'Making It Home'. I was sorely sad to see it go, and continue to wish Cat and Blaine many blessings.   

The Living Room

             When I was a newlywed I had the pleasure of being in a woman’s Bible study taught by my grandmother’s best friend. This was a well attended study. We usually had between 100- 150 women. Even though it was large, Ginny, the teacher was still able to make it feel as if you were sitting in your friend’s living room just sharing. So nobody seemed surprised the morning she asked us to take out a piece of paper from our workbooks and get our pencils ready. She was going to ask us a question and then we were going to share our answers. After all the paper rustling and whispering had died down she smiled at us and said our answers would set the theme for the day’s study. Then she dropped her bombshell.

            “I want you each to write down your husband’s favorite room in the house.”

            I was clueless and the titters of the older married ladies made me even more confused. I sat there and started to get worried as the others busily started writing. Oh my, I was perplexed. My husband is not a man who really cares about the decorating or furniture layout of our home. Even though we’d only been married a few months, I was sure he really didn’t prefer one room over another in our tiny starter home.

               I still had not begun as the others were finishing. In a nervous flurry I jotted down the only answer I could think of and prayed that Ginny wouldn’t call on me to read my paper. As you’ve probably guessed, she did. So I stood up and in a very soft voice I read my answer.

            “My husband’s favorite room is the Living Room.”

            Needless to say there were screams of laughter and a lot of elbow prodding. I was so embarrassed that I felt I must explain my choice. In shaky words I told how my husband was the new band director at the high school and that we had an old second hand piano in the living room that he really loved. Seeing my very red face Ginny had some kind words to say about my choice and then she asked one of the oldest ladies in the room to read her paper next.

            This woman had to be pushing 85 at least. She got up and proudly said that although she was now a widow, she and her deceased husband had been married over 50 years before he’d died. And then she said he’d had two favorite rooms in their house, the bedroom and the kitchen.

Realization hit me hard when I looked around that large fellowship hall and saw the knowing nods and grins from the crowd. I felt very foolish that day, but I learned a great lesson, one that’s stuck with me for over thirty years. Men and women think very differently. My favorite room was the Living Room, but clearly now I saw that it was not my husband’s.

Ginny went on to say something else that has had a profound impact on my life and marriage. She said that if we women knew the bedroom and the kitchen were our men’s favorite rooms, why didn’t we live our lives with that in mind?

It’s a good question isn’t it? And when I got down to the root of my own answer I was astonished and dismayed. The truth hurt- I was just plain selfish. I wanted things done my way. I didn’t think of foods that my husband favored, and cook them more often because I made the things I liked to eat most of the time. I didn’t take the time before going to bed to brush my teeth, use his favorite perfume, and don a pretty nightgown. I just pulled on my ratty flannels and jumped under the covers. I was selfishly thinking only of myself and my comfort.

Over the years I’ve learned to ask God where my flaws are, and selfishness is still high on that list. The Lord constantly shows me that I have plenty of areas to work on. But can you guess the recurring theme on my spiritual ‘to-do’ list? It’s trying to live like I know what my husband’s favorite room in the house is and, Ladies, it’s surely not the Living Room J.

           From New Every Morning Column in Making It Home Magazine

THE TEST

Yesterday I was in the Christian Book Store, I have to be very careful in there as I can overspend really quickly. But an inexpensive little pamphlet caught me eye. The title was “Spiritual Gifts Test”. Like most of you I’d done these kind of spiritual gift inventories before, but it had been several years so I decided to take the ’test’.

Driving in the driveway I noticed my son’s car. He was visiting for the day. So we spent a joyful hour on the porch- me reading the questions from the ‘test’ while he answered. I must say I was shocked and delighted with some of his scores. Because he and I had enjoyed our time together so much, I then called my daughter to give her the ’test’ on the phone.

Two hundred and fifty miles away, she answered the questions while walking down the aisles of a grocery store. Again we had a great time filled with laughter and even some poignancy as we recalled times when she had demonstrated various gifts. Again I was amazed and humbled at  some of her gifts.

Next I took the ‘test‘ myself. I found that some of my spiritual gifts had grown since the last time I’d surveyed them. Some had waned a bit. It was fascinating and instructional for me. It explained why some things are so easy for me- like painting a Sunday School room- and some things are so hard- like evangelism.

When my husband got home from work, he was intrigued by all I’d told him about the ‘test’ and sitting on our porch he took it too. I was very impressed by his attitude answering the questions. He took much time to methodically explore and honestly give each response. I must admit I became impatient with him, but in the end found his scores the most revealing of all of us.

Yesterday, with the help of that little pamphlet and God’s grace,  I learned two very important things. One is that you can’t beat yourself up over not having the same gifts as someone else. In other words, I shouldn’t feel unimportant because God hasn’t gifted me with the ’showy’ gifts. I’m a Helps Girl- God made me that way. And even though I do aspire to be well rounded in all spiritual gift areas, I’m always going to be most comfortable in the background doing something low key at church...ie babysitting, scrubbing the bathrooms, filing, sweeping etc. 

The other thing I learned is that I shouldn’t get irritated with others when they are functioning in their own gifts. After all, God gave them those gifts for a good reason. His reason, His plan- not mine. Judging others is the same as second guessing God. Ouch!

I was very convicted about this as I even got impatient with my husband’s slowness during the ’test’. His highest score was Teacher and the hallmark of teachers is that they slowly and methodically study any given topic. And  I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve fumed at my son, Jon, because he drags anybody and everybody to our house at all hours of the day and night. Guess what his highest score was in? Hospitality. And how many times have I teased my dear daughter about her ability to get folks organized to do just about anything?  You need a charity event planned in a week? Call Allie. You want a Bible Camp set up for middle schoolers? She’d love to do that for you. You guessed it- Administration is her highest area of giftedness.

I need to ask for a lot of forgiveness from my family. And I’m glad to do it because I finally understand that even though we are related to each other by heritage, home, and love we are each really truly unique- one of a kind. In my family just as in the greater Body of Christ our Lord, who does all things well, has gifted us all differently.

From the New Every Morning Column in Making It Home Magazine

He Was A Very Private Man

  “He was a very private man.” The preacher at the funeral seemed so earnest. He said this after he’d just confessed that he’d played golf with the deceased every Thursday afternoon for ten years. Ten years of weekly meetings and he didn’t really know the man? I found that not only sad but very hard to believe. But after speaking at length to the man’s grown children and ex and current wife, I realized they didn’t know him either. This man had lived for 58 years in one small town. He’d been a pillar of the business community and had done good works, but nobody knew who he really was.

Attending that funeral was a turning point in my life. I didn’t want someone standing up at my own funeral with nothing to say but, “She was a very private woman”. So I began the search for how to connect with folks in more than a surface manner.

Thankfully my husband has always been a ‘what you see is what you get’ kind of man. He was able to help me get real with myself and the Lord. That was the first step. I had to know me before I could even try to know anybody else. Not the Sunday School teaching, choir singing me who looked so together on stage. I met the real me- the prideful selfish me who lurked right below the surface. Me, clothed in my dirty rags. I had to face the omnipotent Lord of the Universe in all His light and glory. It was a tough battle and is ongoing.

Surrender to the Lord, anew every day, became a great source of joy. To this day it is what I consider the greatest avenue of grace in my life. I know it sounds old fashioned, but I came to love confession. Just the act of keeping short accounts with God was so freeing. The more I confessed the more I came to love God and recognize His boundless and endless love for me. The more I knew Him

And my acknowledgement of my mistakes and flaws drove me to the Bible. I desired to live a Godly life and I’d always loved it when my Grandmother or a Bible teacher could quote just the right scripture for just the right situation. I found the more I studied, it began happening to me. It was incredible. I’d be talking to somebody who was hurting and a verse for them would just pop in my head. I’d be tempted, and a verse concerning the specific temptation would flood my mind. It amazes and delights me to this day.

Finally I actually started telling people I love them. It began in our immediate family. When someone left the house we would say, ‘I love you’ instead of ‘good-bye’. Our kids grew up with that as standard operating procedure. Their friends thought it was strange at first, but soon they were telling us, ‘I love you’ too.

Those simple words opened doors for people to call on us when they were in trouble. We’ve had kids call us when they were in jail. We’ve had little children in the neighborhood call us and ask us to come get them because they were home alone late at night and they were scared. We’ve had teenagers come sit on our porch swings for hours pouring out the pain in their hearts. We’ve had neighbors come for marriage help and ‘parent’ lessons. My husband and son were asked by a grieving father to visit his son in prison. We’ve been asked to sing and speak at churches, funerals, revivals, retreats, jails, and weddings. We’ve been asked to lead Bible studies on family, faith, and marriage

Now don’t get me wrong, by ourselves we’re no great shakes. My husband and I agree we’re nothing special. We’ve got feet of clay just like everybody else. Others are much more talented, articulate, and studied than we are. But every time someone has knocked on our door God has given us the grace to listen, to tell how God has dealt with us, and most of all just to say, ‘I love you’.

I love you. It’s sad but some people, even Christians, never hear those words. And they’re so easy to say, in the Lord, once you get started. Sure, it may feel awkward in the beginning, most things do in the learning stages. But pretty soon, it just becomes second nature.

The most important thing I’ve learned is that knowing God is the portal to knowing others and yourself. And you can’t know Him by attending church every time the doors open, or singing in the choir, or being on every committee in your fellowship. Real authentic knowledge of God begins when you surrender as much as you know about yourself to as much as you understand of Him. He’ll do the rest.

In my mind the best thing somebody could say about me after I’m gone is, “Patty? Yeah, I knew her real well. She sure could make you feel loved.” 

From New Every Morning Column in Making It Home Magazine